career

i feel like my career has come to a screeching halt. i feel like i have an impossible job that i have been trying to navigate, and i've just come to a dead end. even lists can't help me now.

having a bad day

I am having a bad day at work. Most every thing else in my life is on track. Usually, when I have a shit day at work, I can tell myself it's just a gig. That's over. My company doesn't have enough money to cover payroll, so we're not getting paid until sometime next week. Time for a new job. There was something interesting at the Colorado Coalition for the Homeless that I'm interested in. lord help us all.

Village East Elementry

"I knew this day would come, I just didn't know it would come so fast." I took my little darling to Kindergarten this morning. He picked out his first day of school outfit himself, and carried all his school supplies in his backpack. Just as we approached the front entrance of Village East, I stopped him and gave him a big hug and kiss, then we walked in to find his classroom.When the bell rang he sat himself right on the circle where asked and waited patiently. Once everyone was settled, the principal came on the intercom and welcomed B track kindergartners. Then we all stood up and said the Pledge. I had forgotten completely about that. About 10 parents stood around, watching our kids while the teacher read a book about starting school. At the end of the story, Ms. Donahue instructed her students to stand up and go over to their parents and say goodbye. Justin walked over to me and gave me a hug and a kiss, then happily ran back to the mat. I'll go pick him up today at 2:45.

rant

My house is too crowded. I don't want to move. I want to be alone in my house!!! I'm fine cleaning up after me and Justin, I can't clean up after everyone. I want to read my book, sit on my pourch, watch MSNBC and Star Trek, and come home to an empty house, without consulting anyone!!! Want to be responsible for entertaining Justin. Let him get on my nerves alone! I especially don't want to buy a house. I want to stay in my apartment, and I want everyone OUT OF IT. Justin is lovely, he can stay.

There goes my baby.

This morning at 9:30, I was walking round and round the Cherry Creek Admissions office in the snow and slush trying to find the main entrance. My baby, my little baby boy is ready ready to begin Kindergarten this fall. I didn't realize how difficult this was going to be. Aside from digging out his birth certificate and immunization record, and swearing under purgery that my address is really my address; I wasn't expecting the near tears I was in handing my son over to Cherry Creek public schools. The registration office was clean. It felt like an extremely empty DMV. A large woman in an old lady sweater asked in a deep voice, "Are you here to register?"

"Yes."

"What grade?" she barked back.

"Kindergarten."

She pointed to a stack of forms and instructed me to fill out one of each. Luckily I had printed them all out online and filled them out at home. I sat down opposite her. She began the process of examining Justin's birth certificate and my most recent Excel bill. Just as she started entering data into her computer, another family walked in. "Are you here to register?" she yelled over my head.

Back in my car, when it was all over, I cried and cried. My baby is too little to be thrown to the wolves. He's just little and shouldn't be expected to go to the same school at 5th graders. I'm just not ready to let go of my tiny, little man. He's growing up too fast. Just last night when he was in the bath, he said, "Hey mom do you know what another word for penis is?"
I wasn't sure what he might have swirling in his head, so with caution I asked, "What, Hun?"
He proudly proclaimed, "Wiener!"

flowers

Loads of people start up and opperate their own businesses. If they can do it, I can do it. I will be opening 5280 CityFloral. 5280 City Floral will be an eco-friendly flower shop that will occupy a simple and posh retail space (Chipotle meets Jamba Juice). The most important thing to me when making purchases is clear, up front prices. So that's what we'll have!
I'm going to minimize our environmental impact by using electronic record keeping methods, high efficiency coolers, and eco-friendly vehicles.
Using a Costco Wholesale model of business by offering only the best selling/most popular products at the lowest possible price.
I've got the plan, most of the budget, and am beginning market research. This is something that I really want to, and you only regret the things you don't do. I worked my way through college as head of the Costco flower department, and I've done all the accounting for The Federation. This is something I can totally do. I've had dreams on and off that I was back doing the flowers and Costco, and I'm always really happy that I'm back there in the dream. Here's to dreaming.

The most effective positive response is from random reinforcement. alcohol id random reinforcement. sometimes it's fun, sometimes its misery. But I never know if it's it is going to be fun or misery. but i always with that it is going to be fun. I think that Jacob can decide if he wants to have fun with me or be pissed off with me.

hd

Holy Smoke!! The President is posting weekly videos one whitehouse.gov. I just watched the first one http://www.whitehouse.gov/president-obama-delivers-your-weekly-address/ it looks like he's sitting right in front of me. I think I've got an HD laptop monitor.

at last

About three months ago, the family advocacy big wigs set a meeting for Jan 20th from 11-2 n the afternoon. That morning came, I was thinking of any excuse I could come up with to stay home and watch the inauguration of Barack Obama. Lucky for me, our head researcher called at 9am and said it was cancelled. Thank God! I'm so glad I got to watch it live, as it was happening. I called Jacob to see if they were watching it in the brake room at his work, he said some people did, but he wasn't able to because of the bosses from out of town were there and he was work, work, working. On the radio, I think they said there were 2 million people on the mall in DC, and they had been there since 5am. Most of them could see the stage, but they were happy be there and be a part of history. Other people gathered at local movie theaters, and places like that. Kara said at her school, they brought all the kids into the auditorium to watch it live. I watched from home in my living room with Katie Curic to keep me company. Perfect.

There were a few things he said in the inauguration speech that really stood out to me. First, that we don't have to trade our ideals for security. Also when he talked about picking ourselves up and dusting ourselves off. It surely is time for that. He also talked about getting past old arguments about "should government be big? Should government be small?" to moving to "Does government work?" A smart, poignant idea that truely transends the tired, old ways for Washington. Thank God. We've got a smart one in there! I about cried when he said, "We will open our hands if you will unclench your fist." Beautiful.

Only two days into office, Pres. Obama signed an executive order to shut down Guantanamo Bay Prision. The brutalty going on there has been a huge embaressment to our standing in the world, and a rally call and recrutment tool for enemies of the US for years. I could be prouder of our President for putting an end to it as one of his first acts. I think we are finally opening a chapter of diplomacy and peace after all of the mismanagement and neglect the previous administraition left. Oh, what a mess our new president has inherited.